Constructing mentality of team building and NLP

Reza Hossein Borr

Team building is more an emotional and psychological process than an organizational challenge. Every exercise that the practitioners of team building implement in their courses is intended to create an emotional and psychological makeup which facilitates team work unconsciously. Therefore team building is more an emotional practice than an organizational one. If the team builders and leaders only implement organizational designs for team building, their success will be limited but if they go for changing the emotional setup and psychological construction of the person to go for team building, there is more likelihood of success.

To succeed in team building you need to create several major changes in emotional and as well as belief system. The new emotional and psychological construction must include the following:

1. A sense of creating we instead of I

2. A sense of collective communication of we instead of I

3. A sense of collective feeling of we instead of I

4. A sense of collective thinking, instead of individual thinking

5. A sense of collective responsibility instead of individual responsibility

6. A sense of collective interests instead of individual interests

7. A sense of collective shared achievement instead of individual achievement

8. A sense of collective belief system

A sense of creating an emotional "we" instead of personal I

The prevailing sense of thinking and feeling is an individualistic sense. And individual naturally and instinctively thinks that he is the centre of the circle and everything must move around his demands, aspirations and interests. When an individual is brought up to have such a psychological makeup he unconsciously expresses his views in everything and about everything in a way that brings his interests and his aspirations first and superior to others and therefore other people's aspirations and interests become subordinate to his and that is when and where the conflicts of interest and aspirations begin to develop and deter the realisation of higher good and higher interests.

People from the time they are born are brainwashed socially to think and talk more about mine, me, I. The sense of possession is possibly the strongest sense after the sense of survival and therefore, it goes at the top of hierarchy of priorities. Monopoly of possession also develops from early age and expands as the person grows up. A child, depending on his way of bringing up, shows some flexibility in sharing the possession of something but as the children grow up, the monopoly of possession becomes so vital and compelling that usually creates division among the members of the family, brothers and brothers; brothers and sisters, sisters and sisters. All the divisions among the members of family are about the sense of monopoly of possession. Everybody wants more than the others and therefore, tolerance for being contented for their share, will be diminished and conflicts follow.

This is possibly the reason that the three words me, mine, and I are more used than any other words. The more you use one of these words the more it would indicate your will for monopoly of possession. When you begin to show flexibility and think in terms of collective possession and begin to change your beliefs and emotions behind these words, you are more likely to build in yourself a spirit of team work and team building. It is the spirit of team building and team working which does not exist in many people at appropriate proportion. And it is very difficult to create such a spirit. You can create a new product, a new devise, a new idea, a new home easily but it is very difficult to create the spirit of team building. The individuals always can find certain elements in the thoughts, emotions and behaviours of other people to restrain from getting absorbed in the team spirit. At the same time, people can find a lot of acceptable and logical reasons to reject getting absorbed in the building of team spirit. That is the reason that creating highly competent team is a great challenge.

To move from ” I” to “ we” and from individual to team is a long way and long process full of different ups and down. The initial training of the people who are involved in building teams and working as a team can be very decisive in the changes that can be made. Like everything, it is possible to make change and like everything it requires right solutions and right solutions are not for all. Everybody needs a specific solution. A common mission will be achieved more easily when the meaning of the mission is understood in a share way. Common understanding of the mission brings different people together emotionally and intellectually. Once emotional and intellectual understanding is reached and developed, the job of creating competent team becomes very feasible.

Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: sarawani@aol.com www.rezaaa.com